@AlwaysJLover stay strong. ♡
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@JLo I really can't describe how much I love you...♥ So I guess I will try and pass the feeling to you by the songs I've written for you... All the songs are with the music of some of my favourite songs of you. I really hope you like them and get the time to read them all and maybe reply to me as you did with the video I made for your coconuts:')
Here they are:
1. tl.gd/e41s5p || 2. tl.gd/e9ngev || 3. tl.gd/f7jgfl || 4. tl.gd/gg9eg9 || 5. tl.gd/i242d3 !!!
These are all of them. You inspire me more than you will probably ever know... The fact that you are following me, have tweeted me and RTed many times means more than the world to me... Makes me believe that anything is possible, even the impossible. Hope that one day I will get to tell you everything in person... Although it seems a little "hard to believe", we do have so many things in common. I lost 3 members of my family within a year and that hit out of nowhere and I thought I lost everything... I turned to myself and wasn't talking to anyone.. And then I heard about what you said about that fact and I realized that life isn't over. Life goes on. Thank you so much for that. You can make me feel so much better when nobody else can.. I've been a #JLOVER since 1997 when I saw you on 'Selena' and I was 3yrs old then. Now, 15 years later, nothing have changed. My love for you will always be the same and it won't change. As you also say: "Only got just one life this I've learned, who cares what they're gonna say?".
I really hope I get to talk to you in person (or even from Twitter...) one day soon about all of that and more... Have something inside of me that I know only you could understand and tell me what to do... It's so hard to deal with it...:(
I know it deep down that you're the only one who could understand me right now.. You've been through (kinda) the same and you would know how I feel... This might seem a little too much to say for some people but I can feel it in my heart that I can trust you. Nobody knows what I'm feeling inside. Nobody actually cares.. When I try to tell someone, they go "Not now, I'm busy" or other things like that. Even my own parents. This is too much to handle especially under circumstances like these...
On April of 2012, I came to a point where I wanted to put an end to everything.. I came to a point where I didn't wanna suffer like this anymore.. I was with a friend at my house and while she was in another room, I came so close to taking my life away... She saw me and didn't know what to do except putting one of your songs (I believe it was #Brave and then #OneStepAtATime) so could hear your voice.. This was the only thing she knew it could keep me from doing such a stupid thing... and it did. As soon as I heard your voice, I pictured you telling me "Don't do it baby. Don't do it..." and I didn't do it... Broke down, started crying.. it was a terrible day.. the worst. My parents don't know about this.. I didn't tell them because they would not believe me... They almost never believe me and that is killing me.. When someone is in a situation like this, their parents and close family should be there for them. Not in this case...:'(
There's also another reason WHY I didn't do it at the time... But now, I don't know.. It's all OVER:'(( I can't say it from here... It's the "main" reason why I'm still here.. It's so hard for me even to be writing about it.. God only knows how much I want to tell you.. I hope I'll have the chance soon...
It takes a lot of courage to tell someone about this.. I feel you as someone really close to me...
There's a voice inside of me saying "You should tell her... She will understand and maybe she can help you too.". Can I trust that voice, Jen? Can I tell you?
I came and saw you in Berlin on October 13th) and I had the time of my life. You made me forget all of my pain and all the things that were making me wanna cry a river.. I was smiling the whole time.. THANK YOU FOR THAT!!
Here's the other twitlonger I wrote, for the tour: twishort.com/ahq57
I LOVE YOU JENNY!!!!
ps: I know people aren't suppose to tell everything via the Internet but I have no other way.....:(
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